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Drunk Wishes for Best Man Speeches

by Anonymous

You should never wait to do the best man speeches 3 hours after open bar has begun...

We were at a wedding a few years back. Friends of ours were tying the knot. The best man was drowning his sorrows and stupid luck. His girlfriend had just dumped him this past week. His best friend just got married, and had everything going for him in the world. Did I mention that the bride used to be HIS girl?

The best thing that ever happened to him and that was probably the last kick to the stomach he needed to be reminded of as he listened to the other speeches that had been going on. Jack got up to deliver his speech with a full glass in each hand.

The speech started off in the right direction--you know, how happy he was for the couple, how great the future looks for them. As he got further into the speech, I guess he realized that this could have been him. The speech turned to the raunchy side of things--like sloppy seconds and if you need a real man....

Needless to say, there was a full out and out brawl.

Thank goodness the pictures were almost done before the speech! There were fists flying and people getting tackled. Don't believe I have ever seen anything quite like it, hope to never witness again.

Morals of the story:


  • Might not be wise to date same people as your friends have.

  • Have speeches before everyone gets drunk.

  • Make sure you know how to throw a punch. You never know when you are going to need to know how.

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