by Tori


Q: Is this a good one minute speech on my mom? I have to do it in front of 200 moms and daughters.

Dear Mother Dearest,
It’s been a long haul these past 17 years (18 as of tomorrow) but you're still alive dealing with me, that’s all that matters. We have obviously had our disagreements but in the end you are always there for me, as I for you. I know you will miss my face when I leave you for bean town, hopefully you can hold down the fort without me!
Now that I am off to college you will have to take over my job:
1. Pick up and drop off Jack from school
2. Do the dishwasher
3. Fold the laundry
4. Walk the dogs
5. Get the mail
6. Yard work
7. Take in and out the trash
8. Vacuum
9. Dust
10. Help jack with his homework
11. And wash the cars
You’ll get use to it once you get a routine going, don’t worry! If there are any questions you can feel free to call me at anytime or visit on the web at

A: Tori, we need to talk! You kind of have the right idea, but may I suggest you think more about what feeling you want to leave with your mom and others in the room? First, have you seen the movie 'Mother Dearest'? Never call your mom that! The first bit of your talk is fine, but the second, well... Let us just say that it needs work! You give the definite impression that you did everything, and your mom did, well, nothing. Give just a couple of examples of what you did for her, and definitely change your 'web site' to hirehelp instead of hireaslave!

You function sounds like a combination of mother's day and a graduation celebration. Reflect your audiences' emotions and leave your mom with the positive feeling of letting her child go to grow and learn, not one of a 'slave' finally breaking free. And most importantly, have fun!

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