A Father of the Bride Speech for Critique

by Brian
(Fairfield, CT USA)

I have the pleasure of saying a few words this evening.


First … I’d like to thank each of you for sharing this happy time with Diane and David. We are very happy to see you here.

I never really paid attention to the duties of the father of the bride until I watched my brother-in-law Joe get up and say a few words at the start of his daughter’s reception.

That made me realize, my turn would come.

A license to get up and tell you anything I want about my daughter.

HOWEVER………I CHOOSE TO LIVE!

And to insure I don’t put my foot in my mouth any more than usual, I wrote this down to keep myself on track…


As I reflected on what to say, I realized ... all of us here today, share common emotions ... But, from profoundly different vantage points.

It is easy to look at our daughter and say how proud we are to have seen her grow up… from basketball player---to teacher … from child to woman…always giving unconditional love…
We are very happy to see what she has become, and especially how she treats those around her and shares herself with others.

We can’t look at David and say we are proud to have seen him grow up….but I’m sure his parents CAN --- PROUDLY say that.

When we look at David, we see a man, a doctor, who has accomplished a great deal in 32 years.
He is also a person who unconditionally shares himself, his knowledge, and his experience. Ask him his opinion and he will have one or research the answer for you. Talk about cars, fishing, shooting, hiking, mountain biking, kayaking…these and many other topics…….he will comfortably discuss during any visit. He is enthusiastic about helping, but like Diane, doesn’t push his opinion upon you.

He has a good sense of humor and not only can he hold his own with Diane, he can hold his own with Annie, Tom, and Liz. That is no small feat, especially if they gang up on him!

He has received their blessings for the way he treats their sister.

So, to Pat and Joe, and all the contributing family members, we want to say THANK YOU.
Thank you for the time and energies you gave developing the principles and moral character that gave David the tools to be what he has become.. . .
We are so very happy to have him join our family, as we hope and expect you feel about Diane.

At this time I would ask you to take a moment to think of and offer a prayer for your own loved ones,
who will not have a chance to have a day like this.

I am a man of many words and there is so much more to say. Thankfully, I didn’t try to cover it all. On line it says 5 minutes is good. At home, Deb said 1 minute works for her, but that’s only because she knows my definition of 1 minute…is 5 minutes!

I do want to finish by offering Diane and David a coin from my father’s collection to represent what I wish for them.

I could be giving them a "proof" coin…those minted under extremely controlled, almost sterile type procedures, shiny and brilliant...but... if they are touched by human hands they are considered soiled. I don’t want to their lives to be shiny and brilliant but never touched by human hands.

I could give them an "uncirculated" coin, one with extremely few blemishes, quite full of shine but not so brilliant. But like Proof coins, theses are kept away from human hands, because touch will diminish their value.

Instead I offer them a common coin, a Lincoln Penny, to represent what I wish for them.

It’s date is 1909 , one century before the year their relationship started.
It is an “Extra Fine” grade coin. Extra Fine means it IS touched by many human hands . .
It retains some of the original brilliant shiny color, although it has faded to a softer LUSTER.

The edges of this type coin have been worn down, it is rounded---softened from the initial sharp clear-cut edges it was minted with.

So this is what I wish for Diane and David:

As their lives proceed, the hair thins out … … becomes gray, OR BOTH,
as wrinkles add personality,
may they retain LUSTER as they spread their brilliant shine with others.

As their edges become softer and smoother, (may they never be worn out), as life’s trials and tribulations challenge them and help them evolve through the years.

And although this penny is in a small container, it can be opened, shared, and touched. May Diane and David continue to touch others and be touched in return, just as they have done already.

I Toast you...and ask God to Bless you and Keep you.

---

Feedback

Excellent speech. Great balance of humor and seriousness. This really shows your care for your daughter. It will be memorable, too - they'll keep that coin for a long time.

A couple of ideas:
- Be certain to rehearse, rehearse a lot, before giving this speech. If you have to read it, if it seems memorized, if it seems rote, then it looses it's meaning
- Try it out on a few of your family members or friends before the wedding. Notice their reaction to your phrases. What works? What doesn't? How can you present the jokes so that they fly instead of fall flat? It shouldn't be hard, but if you run through it a number of times beforehand with other people, then you'll know exactly how to deliver this speech in the best way that you possibly can for the audience, and, more especially, for your daughter.

Does anyone else have any comments, ideas, or suggestions?